How do you handle having awkward conversations with your partner?
This is something I’ve always found difficult. Even now, with all the work I’ve done on myself and all the steps I’ve taken forward, this is something that keeps coming up and requires me to keep working on it. I just want to avoid those awkward conversations.
So, this came up again recently for me (the universe loves throwing stuff that you need to work on at you).
I did the energy work that I would do with a client and had the conversation, which felt easier than I thought it would and I felt so relieved afterwards.
I spoke to a mentor friend about it at the time and she said what would I tell a client to do and for any of you who are like me and avoid these conversations you know you need to have, this is what I would do with a client:
- First I would get the client to tune into the emotions that are coming up when thinking about having that conversation and release those emotions.
- Then I would ask them to think about (and sway as we would be using EAM) how this has shown up in the past. What experiences are fuelling this awkwardness? What experiences are fuelling the want to avoid the conversation?
- We would explore the beliefs and thoughts that are tied to this (e.g. belief the other person will judge you, or thoughts on how the other person will react, etc).
- What patterns are becoming obvious (e.g wanting to avoid it, or possibly overthinking it, or being unable to speak your truth, etc)?
These are just some of the things we would explore, there is so much more we can work on, but this is a starting place.
We would release all these resistances. None of this serves us.
Next I would ask my client how they want to feel when they have these conversations. We want to really tune into that new, positive feeling. So, whenever these awkward conversations need to be had (and they will need to be had a lot, because that’s life) they tune into the positive emotions rather than the negative.
Doing this one off is great but we want to reinforce a new pattern, a new feeling, a new reaction, a new behaviour to an old, deep rooted pattern and reaction.
So, how do we do it?
We take small steps. We regularly tune into the positive thoughts and feelings, especially when you can feel the negative emotions coming up.
If you find it difficult to express yourself or speak your truth/mind, start small, express yourself in things that aren’t too hard to do, they feel outside of your comfort zone but not overwhelmingly difficult.
Know that it is ok to speak your truth, and the people who love you accept you as you are AND most likely want you to speak your truth. My fiance regularly tells me I can go to him any time and speak to him about anything. It is my own bullshit (resistance) getting in the way and stopping me.
When those bigger events come up, react sooner, don’t let it fester in your mind. Release any resistances coming up, tune into the positive emotions and have the conversation. It will feel uncomfortable but trust me, each time it’ll get easier and you’ll have less to release, you’ll start tuning into the positive emotions sooner and before you know it, it will feel easy to do.
I’m on this journey with you.
We are a work in progress, things always come up, the more we work on them, the more we create patterns and behaviours that support our growth, the more we move forwards and the happier we will be.
If you want to chat about this further, drop me a message.