When it comes to dating, there is so much advice out there and different approaches. Here are some important tips to keep in mind. These tips can be used on your dating profile, while chatting online or meeting in person.
1. Be yourself:
Authenticity is key. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not just to impress your date. Be genuine and let your true personality shine through.
This can be hard, especially if you are worried they will judge you, but remember if you want to have a long term relationship with this person then you want to feel like you can always be yourself with them, but also they will have to accept who you are, flaws, quirks and all.
Better to be yourself and find someone who accepts you completely.
On my second date with my husband, I lost at bowling and was in a bad mood. I can be quite moody and I’m not so good at losing as I’m quite competitive. If he didn’t accept that about me, we wouldn’t be together now. If I had hid it (actually I tried to but failed 🤣) but if I had hid it successfully, we may have ended up dating for months before he saw the real moody Ceza and decided he hated that about me. Waste of time for us both.
2. Communication is key:
Open and honest communication is crucial in any relationship. Be a good listener and express your thoughts and feelings clearly. Don’t be afraid to communicate your needs and expectations.
It can feel awkward to do this at the start, when you are still in the dating phase, but it is important. You don’t need to be open about everything, especially things that you don’t want to talk about until you are in an exclusive relationship but be open about what you are looking for and who you are. It will shape your relationship.
If you feel you can’t be open and honest with the other person, even after a couple of months of dating, then something is not right. Sometimes we can’t be open because we have barriers up from being hurt in the past, sometimes it is because the person we are with doesn’t feel secure enough for us to open up.
If you find, it is your barriers, I’d suggest exploring why you feel you can’t be open. The Love Unlocked On-Demand Course can really help you with this as it helps you understand yourself on a much deeper level and let go of those inner blocks.
3. Respect boundaries:
It’s important to respect your own boundaries as well as those of your date. Take things at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you and don’t push or pressure anyone into doing something they’re not ready for.
Open and honest communication can really help when setting and communicating them to your date.
Also, keep in mind, we are all different. You will have boundaries your date might not understand and vice versa, but whether you understand them or not, respect them.
4. Be present:
When you’re on a date, give your full attention to your date. Put away your phone and avoid distractions. Show genuine interest in what they have to say and actively engage in the conversation.
There’s nothing worse than being on a date with someone who is always checking their phone or clearly not paying attention. That date won’t go well! The other person will think you are not interested, and it is really annoying.
I am more introverted than not and can find it hard to make conversation with a new person. When I was dating and the guy was on his phone instead of giving his attention to me, it really put me off, and made me retreat inwards and become more quiet.
So, make sure you are present. If you are bored, finish your drink, then say you have to go, don’t sit and look at your phone.
If you get a message or want to message a friend or check whatever, do it in the loo. That way at least your date won’t think you aren’t interested.
5. Have fun:
Dating should be enjoyable! (Doesn’t have to be ziplining, it can be whatever you find fun – here are some creative date ideas). Don’t overthink things or put too much pressure on yourself. Relax, have fun, and let the experience unfold naturally. Remember, the goal is to get to know each other and see if there’s a connection.
This is especially true if you find you are starting to feel desperate when it comes to dating. You may be overthinking things, worrying about the future, worrying about how you come across, but let that go. Just enjoy yourself. When you are having fun, your best personality will come through.
If the desperation is taking over and dating feels like a chore, then check out Love Unlocked as it can really help you shift those resistances you have linked to dating. This means it will put you in a much happier and positive energy.
6. Show kindness and respect:
Treat your date with kindness, respect, and courtesy. Small gestures like holding the door, being polite, or offering compliments can go a long way in making a positive impression.
Just be a nice person, even if you aren’t feeling the spark and you know you aren’t interested in them romantically. Being nice means no one feels bad after the date.
7. Be patient:
Building a connection takes time. Don’t rush into a relationship or expect instant chemistry. Give the relationship space to develop naturally and enjoy the journey.
Ok, who hasn’t gone on a date and already started thinking about their future life with this random person?
This happens, especially if you are ready to settle down and starting to feel frustrated by the whole dating scene. But remember, rushing in isn’t going to make everything great. Give yourself time to get to know the person, enjoy that journey.
And don’t settle just because that person happens to show you interest. Keep looking and be patient (and this is coming from quite an impatient person, but it is better to wait and meet someone truly right for you, then be with someone who isn’t).
If they are the one, it will work out. If they aren’t, at least you didn’t rush into something you will regret.
8. Take care of yourself:
Prioritise self-care and maintain your own well-being. Make time for your hobbies, interests, and friendships outside of the relationship. It’s important to have a balanced and fulfilling life beyond dating.
Even if dating is going great and you’ve gone on some amazing dates, possibly with the same person, remember to not let go of all your own self-care activities. They are just as important, and they will help you maintain a sense of yourself, especially once you enter into a relationship.
9. Trust your instincts:
If something feels off or doesn’t align with your values, trust your gut instincts. Your intuition can often guide you in making the right decisions for yourself.
This is a big one. Listen to your gut. I listened to my gut and it ended up with me meeting the man I was going to marry. If I had listened to my head, it wouldn’t have happened.
Your intuition picks up on things you don’t pick up on consciously. Trust it.
10. Be open-minded:
Approach dating with an open mind and be willing to step out of your comfort zone. You never know when and where you might find a meaningful connection.
You may meet your future partner on a dating app or via a matchmaking service, but it might happen on a night out (like the old fashion way), it might happen at work, it might happen in the most random way in the most random place.
Be open to all the possibilities.
We are all different and these are some tips for you to keep in mind. Ultimately, trust yourself, enjoy the process, and be open to the possibilities that dating can bring.
If you find while you are dating, you are struggling with any of the above, maybe you can’t control your frustration or you are having a lot of anxiety come up or you don’t know how to tap into your intuition, reach out to me or alternatively, check out Love Unlocked – a 5 week on-demand course covering all the essential inner work pieces that will change your love life.