Beginning in the Now
Not sure where to start this. The last year has been full of ups and downs, lots of changes and lots of realisations. Let me start with where I am right now and then I’ll tell you how I got to this point in my life.
As I write this, I’m sitting on my bed in Glasgow in my flat that I share with a flatmate. At no point in my life did I think this is where I would be at the age of 34. I thought I would be married, have my own house, have a bigger income, a regular, stable job working for someone else, be living in London and maybe have some kids. Instead I am single, sharing a flat, am self-employed, income that varies every month and live in Glasgow!
But I love where I am at and love the people I’ve met on my journey to this point. At uni, I assumed engineering would be my career, but actually I love what I do now. I love that I can use fitness to help many people become fitter and healthier and aid recover from injury or illness. I love seeing my clients becoming stronger and more confident and feeling good about what they are doing. It is such a rewarding outcome for them and for me.
I love that I can use the Energy Alignment Method (EAM) to support people as they become aware of their obstacles and work to release them and allow them to start manifesting what is important to them. The change you see is astonishing and it makes me so happy to see those positive changes in people and them taking control of their life and what they want out of it!
I never thought I was a people’s person until I started working for myself! I love that aspect now. I just love being able to make a difference to someone, no matter how small that difference is.
2011 Changed My Life’s Path
So…my journey to this point! As you may have guessed, I did engineering at uni. I left uni wanting to build satellites and work in the aerospace industry. However, things didn’t go to plan. I applied for 100s of jobs during my masters and the following 5 years! I had lots of interviews but each time something went wrong and I didn’t get the job. I couldn’t even get work working for free! Then the opportunity came up to do an internship in Madrid. I love Spain and thought this would be a great way to go back, practice my Spanish and get the experience I needed. As great as the internship was it didn’t give me the boost I was hoping for.
Now, I’ve always been a strong and confident person and so even though I was getting rejection after rejection, I powered through staying positive and optimistic. What I didn’t realise was the toll this was having on me.
In December 2011, after my millionth rejection of a job interview I knew I had done well at, I reached my lowest point. I probably spent most of that month crying or trying to stop myself crying! It was frustrating seeing others with less qualifications doing better than me, I didn’t feel I could talk to anyone about it and if one more person told me a job was just around the corner, I think I was going to go crazy! I was feeling pretty depressed and hadn’t really admitted to feeling like that until quite recently.
The change in my journey began the week before Christmas. I went shopping with my flatmate and we were in Zara. This Zara had a big opening in the middle of each floor, so from the 4th floor you could see the bottom floor. We were on the top floor and while my flatmate went to try on clothes, I waited by the centre. A thought popped into my head that would be the beginning of my new journey. I remember feeling depressed and fragile and looking down to the bottom floor and thinking how freeing it would be to fall from the fourth floor all the way down and not have to feel the way I was feeling.
This thought scared the crap out of me because it was a thought I never imagined would cross my mind. This “oh my god, what did I just think?” moment, was the moment I realised I had to live the life I wanted and go after the things I wanted.
Fast Track to 2017…
At the start of 2017, I was planning my move to Glasgow to be with my then boyfriend. After a 4 months delay to my move, I was broke, stressed and wondering if my boyfriend even wanted me to move up. Finally in April 2017, I moved to Glasgow.
After a few months of living together, things didn’t go so well and in September I decided to end our 2.5 year relationship. This was a hard decision as I had left my friends and family and the business that I had grown in London and moved to the other side of the UK. I didn’t really know anyone in Glasgow and financially my business wasn’t in a place for me to be living alone as I had to start from scratch again, and it was a massive heartbreak because I did love him.
Putting Myself First
But it was time for me to put myself first. The break up made some things very clear to me. There were several parts of me that had shut down over the years. Realising I was with a guy I wouldn’t have looked at twice 10 years ago really made it clear something in me had changed. Working with other EAM mentors I realised this all came back to never dealing with how I was feeling in 2011, I also realised I had never fully dealt with my gran’s death, which happened on my birthday in 2011. Not such a great year!
Since 2011, I have been working on myself and reconnecting to who I really am as it occurred to me that I seemed to have two personas, the one my family and really close friends saw and the other that everyone else saw and they were quite contradictory. I thought why am I being someone I am not to people who don’t know me well? Slowly I started working on bridging that difference, dispelling the person I presented to people who I didn’t know well and allowing the real me out!
This was harder than it sounds. It felt very revealing and still does. I’m still working on that process but each time I allow myself to be myself and accept this this me and it doesn’t matter what others think, makes it easier and easier.
My break up from my ex was hard and it was only 4 months ago, so I’m still working on feelings that come from it. I accept that the things that happened in those 2.5 years, whether good or bad, were to allow me to step into my power and be the woman I am meant to be. First step was to get rid of all the sh*t holding me back from the past.
Time To Shine
I am truly excited for the future and what it holds. I know 2018 is going to be awesome and I am so grateful for all my friends, family, mentors, business coaches and all the women (and men) who have allowed me to grow and have supported me along this journey and I couldn’t have done it without all of those people.
Now is my time to step up and support other women grow and step into their power! I’m on a mission to touch the lives of millions of women to create a world where women feel comfortable to be who they are without judgement and prejudice and can live an authentic and true life.
LET’S DO THIS!
If this is resonating with you in anyway, let’s chat.