Is it intuition? Or is it fear? Do you know which is guiding you?
This is a really good question because it can be hard to sometimes identify whether it’s your intuition guiding you or if it’s fear.
Check out the video above, or read it below.
How do you know if it is fear or intuition?
So, intuition or fear? It can be easy to mix these two up, but it does feel different in the body. So, for me intuition is a much deeper feeling, a deeper knowing. I can feel it all the way down to my gut. Energetically I feel it all over my body and it comes with a knowing that I know that whatever is true, even if my brain is telling me ‘no, you’re wrong’, there is that knowing.
Let me give you an example. One time I was in Spain and on my way back from the supermarket, my brain told me to go straight “if I go straight, I end up back where I started”. But my intuition was really, really strongly telling me to go left. I remember stopping and thinking “why left? That doesn’t make any sense of I go left, how am I going to end up back where I started? I need to go straight”. But my gut instinct, my intuition was so strong, that I had to listen to it. I went left and I ended up back where I started. This was years ago and to this day, I have no idea, logically, how that all worked, but my intuition knew something that logically my brain was telling me was wrong, and it was accompanied by really deep knowing to the point where it stopped me in the road and I had a little argument between my gut and my brain.
That’s just a really simple example, which I wanted to share, because that really shows that sometimes what we’re feeling in our body doesn’t necessarily agree with what our brain is telling us or what the logic is saying. It’s that deep knowing, you just know.
I’m sure there’s been a situation where you’ve had to make a decision and you felt it is the right thing to do even when logic is telling you that’s not right. Or you met someone and you feel a certain way about them or how they are and you can’t explain it and your logic is telling you you don’t know that but it turns out to be true. It’s that deeper knowing and it’s a full body feeling.
Fear on the other hand, can be quite a different feeling in the body. For me, fear comes up in my chest. It comes up my stomach by making me feel sick. With fear, you want to get out of that situation, you feel unsafe, you feel sad, you feel scared, you feel all these negative emotions.
Let me give you an example of fear. I’m sure we’ve all felt fear. You walk home alone at night, and it’s dark and then you hear someone behind you and you start getting all these thoughts are ‘oh my god, who’s this? Are they going to follow me home? Are they going to murder me?’ It might be a bit exaggerated but I’m sure we’ve all been in that situation. We’ve felt that fear.
How does this affect a relationship?
So, how does this come up in relationships? Sometimes in our relationship, something happens and what’s coming up in our internal voice can be coming from a place of fear or a place of intuition. For example, let’s imagine there’s a woman who has been cheated on by previous partners. She’s now in a relationship with someone who is loyal and she trusts and everything is going great, and nothing has come up for her to suspect he’s cheating or even interested in cheating.
One day they’re sitting and watching TV and he’s on his phone and he’s sitting in a way where he is looking at his phone, but she can’t see his phone. He’s laughing and giggling and possibly chatting to his mates or scrolling on social media and he’s happy and enjoying whatever is looking at. Suddenly, she gets these thoughts of “who is he talking to? Is he talking to another woman? Why is he laughing? Why is he hiding his phone? Why is he sitting that way so that I can’t see what’s on the phone?” All these things start coming up and she’s being triggered because of her past experiences, her past experiences of being with someone who cheated on. It’s that fear of “is he cheating? Is he going to do what all my other partners did?” The fear of something is going to go wrong and that she’s going to lose him, that she will be upset and lonely again.
Now in that situation, she could choose to allow those emotions and thoughts that are coming up as a result of that trigger to take over and then react according to those emotions, like she could shout at him, she could grab his phone, she could start getting really suspicious, scroll through all his things on his phone, ask a million questions of what he’s doing and potentially cause issues in the relationship.
That’s an example of fear taking over and it can cause you to behave in a way that isn’t good for the relationship nor for you. But we won’t get into that. That’s a story for another day.
On the flip side, let’s say the same woman in a relationship. It’s all happy. It’s all good. But suddenly she starts getting this feeling that something is going on. Maybe her boyfriend’s behaviour has changed. Maybe he’s being more secretive. Maybe he’s staying out longer. Things have changed and there’s this internal intuition saying that something isn’t right, those alarm bells are going off. The alarm bells aren’t coming from a place of fear with a million emotions and questions. This is coming from a different place. It’s coming from a deeper knowing of something that’s changed, something is going on. She may not know what has changed, but something is going on and she can feel it. It’s a different feeling in the body, and it can be hard to explain because intuition can be quite abstract, and it can feel different for different people. These are just two slightly different examples of how fear and intuition can show up.
What can you do?
Now, one way I work on this with my clients so that they can start understanding what is fear based and what intuition is using the Energy Alignment Method (check out the freebie which goes through the steps and teaches you how to use a sway, which is a great way to get yes or no answers from your body). You can ask your body is this fear coming up? And it will say yes or no. Or is this my intuition guiding me? Yes or no. I’ll put the link to the freebie at the bottom. It’s a one hour masterclass. It’ll teach you the Energy Alignment Method and how to use the sway. It’s a really good way to start tuning into what is going on internally and it gives you tips on how to release that. So definitely go check that out. It’s free, so you’ve got nothing to lose, right.
Another option is to explore what is coming up. You can go somewhere quiet, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself is this fear coming up? Is this my intuition guiding me? See what comes up. You might feel a yes in your body or you might hear yes or see the word yes in your mind. Or maybe you see no. It’s about exploring and allowing your body to give you the answers.
So it might be that you explore it and ask yourself what is actually coming up? What am I thinking what am I feeling? Do I have any evidence for this feeling and thoughts coming up? If there was nothing happening and suddenly you felt these strong emotions, chances are it’s just fear, something did trigger you.
If you explore it further and you start noticing, actually, my partner’s behaviour has changed, or he’s been more secretive and he’s doing this or he’s being mean or whatever. Then it might tell you that actually this is a guidance from your intuition, something is off. So ask yourself questions, you can journal on this. Is there something going on that your intuition is setting off the alarm bells and you need to listen to that and explore what are those alarm bells? What is it trying to tell you? Those are just really simple ways to start looking at it.
If you find it hard to tell the difference between your fear and your intuition, go and download my masterclass as it will teach you the sway which is really great place to start to help you notice whether what you’re feeling is a fear or if it’s intuition. The more you start tapping into your intuition, the more you’re going to start noticing and the more you’re going to hear it and feel it and the more you’re going to know when it’s trying to tell you something.
We’ve become so used to not listen to intuition and when you don’t listen to intuition, it does cut off. Intuition is a body feeling. It’s not a mind thing. It happens in your body. We live in a world where we live in our heads, I really noticed this when I started teaching Pilates. People aren’t very in tune with what’s happening below their neck. If you’re not in tune with your body, then it’s can be really difficult to tell when your intuition is trying to tell you something. So getting into your body can be really useful. Maybe move your body and then do your sway from the master class or move your body and then do some journaling. Fitness or movement is a really good way to just kind of get out of your head and get into your body so that you can start feeling your intuition and listen to it and be guided by it.
Download the free masterclass, learn how to sway and use it to explore your intuition. If you have questions, get in contact.