How often do you let your worry about how someone will react stop you?
Sometimes we are so worried about what someone else is going to think or how they’re going to feel that we stop ourselves from having that conversation we need to have with them.
I’m getting married next year and I have been thinking about who to choose as my bridesmaids. I have been a bridesmaid 5 times, and out of those 5 I asked 2 of them to be a bridesmaid for me and one of my other friends. The other 3 are still friends but I’m not as close to them as the others and wanted to keep my numbers small.
I have been putting off telling them I’m not choosing them because I’ve been worrying about what they’ll think and feel. They may not be fussed but I’m overthinking it.
Worrying about how someone else will react shows up in relationships all the time. You want to say something to your partner, but are worried how they will feel, so you don’t.
Then this simple conversation turns into a big thing because you’ve thought about it so much.
You stress yourself out. It is on your mind, a lot! You may never even have the conversation, and that leads to other problems.
The thing is we never really know how someone will really react and we can’t hold ourselves back because of what we think might happen.
In these scenarios (I’m a big overthinker who’ll retreat inwards rather than just saying what I need to), I have a few techniques I use:
- I EAM (Energy Alignment Method) on how I feel and how I want to feel when having this conversation.
- I talk it through with a friend to let go of how I feel and what I’m worried about, then do it.
- I take a few deep breaths and just go for it (like ripping off a plaster – just do it, the quicker the better).
For me this is a work in progress, each time it gets easier, we all have things that are a work in progress for us.
How are you when it comes to having awkward conversations?
Are you an overthinker or are you the type that just gets on with it?
Are there times when you have wanted to say something in a relationship but held back because you were worried about how the other person will react, and is this still happening?
Remember, we can never control someone else’s reaction but we can decide whether this thing is going to stay on our mind and keep bothering us or not.
If you are wanting to learn more about how you can use EAM to help with those pesky resistances, the Love Booster Session is a 1 hour coaching session that will give you a real taster of how EAM works.